Well it has now been just about 4 months since I started this crazy hormone filled journey! I am happy to report I almost feel like a brand new human being! We have made much progress in a short amount of time. Both the doc and I are pleased! Not everything is at optimum yet, but it is definitely a major improvement from where we started. I feel full of energy and motivation most days and I don't wake up feeling so groggy. Another plus....my cramps around that lovely time of the month are so much less severe! They aren't gone, but then, I don't think you can ever eliminate them entirely, but at least I don't feel like I'm going to die from them!
I won't lie, this process has been VERY HARD for me. The changes in diet and lifestyle aren't horrible, it's just not what I'm used to. It's hard sometimes to balance what I'm eating with medication and I feel frustrated. I keep reminding myself though that this is what will make me better and will be what helps us have babies someday and usually that's enough to help me keep going on days that I really would just rather give up and give in! We have many sweet family and friends who have prayed for us and we are so so grateful! We are truly blessed with amazing friends and family. This has been good from me from both a health standpoint and a spiritual stand point. I have spent a lot of extra time working on myself, I spend a lot more time in prayer than I did before and it has helped me feel so much inner peace. My faith and confidence in my Heavenly Father have been strengthened immensely. Even on days where I feel discouraged, if I just take a few minutes to pray, I feel like He has it all handled and I feel peace again. There have been many tears. I won't deny that. Sometimes I do have days where crying feels like the best option, even though I know it's really not....but sometimes you just need to! It's usually when I'm alone in the car and I hear a song on the radio that is speaking to me in that moment. It happens often when I hear the song "Need You Now" by Plumb. The chorus says "How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"? How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?" While it doesn't seem like much, it is so true for me. On hard days, I have just broken down and begged him to take away the pain and the hurt and the dissappointment. For the record, His answer hasn't directly been "NO" but I know this is meant to strengthen me and make me better. I know that this is a trial and a lesson I need to learn to help me, my family and others. I'm not sure that everything I am learning is clear yet, but I do know that this is what I need even though I don't particularly like it. And I do know, that no matter how many times I break down, He will always give me the strength I need to keep breathing, keep pushing, and to keep climbing. He's pretty awesome at that.
Things have been very busy as we continue to prep for the arrival of Uncle Rob and Rhonda. I'm frantically trying to organize everything to accomadate two 1200 square foot houses worth of stuff into on. I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of stressed out about it. We are still dealing with clean up from the giant remodel. There seems to be a never ending supply of drywall dust and mud and who the heck knows what else. We are thankful that we are done with the big ugly part for now. We are still hoping that we can do the floors in the kitchen soon, but we are thinking it just won't happen before Rob and Rhonda get here. That's okay though, because they can always be done later! I don't think we'll be able to paint the rest of the living room like I wanted either but that's okay too, because I'm sure we will get to it at some point before the end of the year so we'll still make my goal!
We have finally saved up enough money to get gravel for the yard! So we'll be able to put that in very soon we hope! We're thinking since the next few weeks are crazy busy, we won't get it done til the beginning of March, but at least it will still be fairly cool at that point, any later and we'll probably just hold off til fall so we don't die in the heat.
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