time for some changes

so the last week has been full of much reflection, and more talking than was probably necessary, but joshua tells me it's good to let it all out, so i did.  though most of it i feel was rather ugly, i do feel better, a little lighter. i am normally a big fan of change, but for some reason this is much harder for me than anything else to change.  i can let go of nearly anything, i have no problem with people most of the time.  but for some reason i just can't let this go, and i am letting everything said eat me up inside.  which is rather unhealthy.  i'm a rather ugly person inside lately and i don't particularly like it, and nor is it what the man deserves to be with.  so its time to fix it.  he certainly is a big help to me, even though i am usually a stubborn butt about being helped, i'm very glad he is so patient though, it will definitely help. 
on the upside, joshua bought me an awesomely awesome pair of new shoes (which i will be buying a second pair of as soon as our disney tickets have been paid for).  they are the reebok zigtechs.  and they are heaven on your feet.  seriously, after 8 hours on my feet they are only achey and tired, they are no longer painful all day long, and the arches nearly reach the top of my overly high arch and i'm forced to stand up straight, and i'm pretty sure my poor little butt and legs have had quite the little workout lately.  but i love love love them.  he is so good to me.  he even got a pair too and now we match very cutely like, except his are black and white and manly, and mine are black and HOT pink, like neon. and they are sexy. 
i ordered a new battery today for my poor little computer, so hopefully that will be here soon and i will be a little faster about posting more than once every ten years.  hopefully this time my computer will not fry it like it did the last one, that would be much appreciated since it's nearly $200 for a freaking battery to replace the dang one i have.  in case you were not aware, it now lasts a total of 3 minutes while unplugged from the wall, and after 5 minutes of inactivity  while plugged into the wall, it shuts down completely and you must reboot. MOST annoying.  and not conducive to online schooling, so i'm getting it fixed so i can start soonly. ish. blah.
the man and i went to dinner today too-took him to nando's for our "monthiversary".  yes we count them still.  mostly just cause while he was in birmingham it was kinda like a countdown and something to look forward to each month!  i usually sent him a funny goofy card i found at walmart cause it's fun to get mail and it usually helped to boost his spirits a little.......at least i think so.  anyways we had a date night to celebrate and it was lovely.
but now i am sleepy and i have to get up again for work tomorrow so it is BED TIME. glorious.  my favorite time of day.