just when I thought.......

im so exhausted right now that I can't sleep... Weird yes, but I think that you probably understand. Today was less than stellar, way more stress than I cared to have on a Monday, or any day for that matter. Its made me grouchy, I have wanted to cry the last 6 or more hours but have refrained since it doesn't fix anything. I'm beyond frustrated and angry, I am irritated to a point that words do not describe. I know it will get me no where, it solves nothing, it only increases my blood pressure and makes me exhausted, and yet, a large part of me just doesn't give a damn. Wrong? Yes. Ask me if I care right now. I'm sure I'll regret it shortly, but then again maybe not. Cause just when I think that maybe for once I could get my hopes up for a change and move on and move up, it all gets beaten back down again and crushed by forces beyond my control. And I'm not talking about the big guy upstairs-if it was all him I wouldn't be nearly as ticked off and I would understand. But this I can't and probably will never understand, but apparently I'm just supposed to accept it. Right now though, that just isn't going to happen. So much for a great start to the week. I don't even have the energy or positivity at this point to say at least it can only get better, cause last time I said that it got me to here.