Don't piss me off andddd How in the heck can jeans be so ridiculously different sizes??

If you don't want to hear the rantings of a lunatic, I would skip down about 5 or 6 paragraphs to the part where I tell the story of how being married makes you fat.........it's not a whole lot more exciting, but it isnt' so full of yelling........
Okay so at this current moment my blood is BOILING and I have to vent somewhere or I WILL EXPLODE.  I promise I have been spending the last few days gathering pictures for another update post.  But this first cause its consuming my brain.  Now, just to clarify, I am not trying to be a vindictive jerk, I apologize in advance for any foul language I don't catch before I post this, there is an ounce of truth in everything, but most of this is coming from a place of high blood pressure and surpressed pissed off-ness.  In fact, if you want to skip this, I will in no way be offended.  I will probably look back on this one day and think it was just straight up stupid.  But in THIS moment, I do not feel bad......SO.
NOTHING in this world makes my blood boil more than someone telling me how to live MY, in case you read that wrong that was M.Y. as in Alycia Zahn's PERSONAL life........okay so that ANDDDD someone who has been talking about how I should be living my life to someone else behind my back and then fronting that it's all fine and dandy and then the other someone else letting it slip that it is not and telling me in a not so discreet way that that's how EVERYONE thinks I should be living MYYYYYYYYY life. Everyone should be SO glad that I do not have great arm muscles, that two fingers on my right punching hand are swollen and can't be made into a fist since I jacked them up at work.........VERY glad.
SINCEEEEEE we are on the subject of my ranting...........EVERYONE needs to stop telling me when they think I should have children.  Your opinions are unwanted and unneccesary.  If I wanted to know what you thought the timeline of my life should be, I WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU.  I do not give you unneccessary or unwarranted advice/how you should live your life timelines.  Quite frankly, I do not give a rat's behind how you live your life, that's YOUR problem, not mine.  If you need help or advice, I will gladly give my best answer from my own experiences......
This goes against everything I am trying to be right now.  I am trying to be more patient, more humble, more calm, less blood-pressure-through-the-roof-pissed-off about things, but THIS particular subject puts knots in my stomach and makes me blow steam out my ears.  It takes all of my strength and every ounce of will power I have ever had EVER to NOT yell at people or punch someone in the face, and it's always at the times in which I cannot do these things that the subject is brought up.  So i have to smile, and come up with the sweetest sing songy BSSS answer. UGH. My head still feels like its going to explode, but I'm a little better.


Since this post is on the negativity train at the moment, can I just say that we had to get dressed up today and I did not fit in ONE, not one, single pair of dress pants, nor skirts, nor any of my dresses.  I wanted to sit down on the floor and cry myself into a puddle and then just fall over and die in my bed.  We don't own a scale in this house, but I'm pretty sure I've gained almost 25 pounds in the last year.  and 25 pounds doesn't seem like a whole lot, and people always tell me how i look "skinny".......but let's be real.  I am not.  I have not bought new clothes since my sophmore/junior year of high school.  At that point I was at my peak weight (117), and then senior year I lost 20 pounds due to sickness.......no need for new clothes there, and since then I've been gainging weight back, so again, no new clothes needed.  Saturday, I ripped my very last pair of jeans. Which means I HAD to face the reality that i was ACTUALLY too fat for my size 3's.....sad day.  Now, some of this is large in part due to the fact that when I turned twenty my hips magically decided to expand horizontally as if it would one day be necessary to birth an elephant and not a small human, but ya know, whatev.  The pants were tight, but they still FIT until I gained an extra twenty pounds....blah.  So last night the hubs and i went and bought some new jeans. I went to womens first, and got some 4's, because i haven't shopped for jeans in 5 years and 3's don't fit, so I figured 4's would.....logical right? i thought. since juniors was right next door, i also picked up some 5's to try on, thinking they might also be the perfect size.......well let me just tell you, after trying on 7 thousand pairs.......the 4's were straight up 7 of me in one pair of pants, like no joke, I would have had to weight like50 pounds more to keep them from falling off, no joke.  I could fit another 3 legs and my arms in those things.......as for the 5's......I ended up in 7's to get them on, but i wore a pair today and after about 6 hours they were like the saggy baggy elephant bottom......ugh I cannot win.  Guess it's time to jillian michael's it up in this house, eat salad  all day err day...and whatever other wacky worky outy things i should be doing. I am going to be serious about this, even though I haven't been the last 6 months, cause i just can't stand it any more.  I DO NOT like shopping and I DO NOT want to have to go buy all new clothes because I'm too big of a fatso to fit in my skinny clothes.  I refuse to buy anything larger than medium until I am a pregnant whale.......hopefully I can keep up with that promise.  Here goes....