january 3rd, i love you today, even tho 3 weeks ago you were not really my friend

technically monday january 3rd hasn't happened yet, since i am like an hour and a half into what is considered to be january 3rd in this new year, but just humor me.  just 4ish weeks ago, my love was coming home for a 12 day christmas vacation, and would have left today for what will be the start of the off season in collegiate football.  i won't lie, i always cried on those days, even though that is majorly pathetic on many levels, but it was never enough time and it always meant that things would become harder again since there would be 6 hours of football, time zone changes, homework, school classes, work and a million and 2 other things. yes, i am whining about it, but i can cause i don't ever voice it to anyone really, well except for poor joshua lol. BUT i am happy to report, that instead of crying tonight as i left joshua's house, i had completely forgotten about it til he reminded me as we were about halfway home.  we will no more have to deal with the 1800 mile separation, no more time zone changes, no more football practices, no more 4-6 months between hugs or kisses, no more crying (well.......not over people leaving far away anyway, i mean, there are times a girl needs to cry, especially under the overwhelming circumstances we now face.). while there are some downsides, like no more girl time with miss leia, no more hanging out with jesse, and no more live football games or seeing my man in his football uniform, there are certainly more ups that i am looking forward to.  we are finally starting to settle into a routine, its sort of working, it's still a challenge between the distance across town between houses and the strangeness in work schedules, BUT, he's always here, i can always go to him when i need him, he always makes me feel better at the end of the day.  i say all of this, and you are probably thinking, "uh dude he's been home for like 3 weeks" well yeah, i'm probably a little bit overly excited, a little bit silly probably, but it makes me oh so happy, moreso than i can EVER ever explain.

just a quick note before i actually go to sleep cause i'm failing miserably on the "go to bed early and get up early" portion of my new years resolution, oops.  on saturday evening, mom and dad and the man and i went out to have a quick dinner (original destination was back yard tacos, but they were closed for the holiday, so we instead had delicious mexican food at the original tia rosa's in downtown mesa). we had a lovely time.  the man and i enjoy spending time with my parents, well i should probably ask before making such assumptions, BUT i'm guessing from the way he reacts and engages in convo during dinner, and shares his thoughts and feelings, and the fact that we never have conversations afterward that hint at the negative/annoyance end of things.  i love it when we have thougtful and deep conversations, especially those involving the future and its possibilities, i always get tidbits out of the man that i don't always get in our own conversation since thoughts from others provoke new thoughts of our own.  like last night my joshuabear was telling my dad about how much he can't wait to have kiddos. it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and my heart smiled a little and i took a drink of my soda so i didn't look like a dweebus cause i secretly just wanted to kiss his sweet little face and almost have a little tear. (yeah, i am overly emotional, a)because of super stress, b)because of superly overly hyped up hormones. they are driving me C.R.A.Z.Y. but we'll discuss THAT another day)
anyway......i am such a rambler geez, i'm sorry.  after our little dinner we went to see the lights at the temple. it is always a favorite of mine to go and see all of the beauty.  it was a little different this year since we normally go before the holiday actually comes and goes. but i won't lie to you, there was NO ONE there. it was glorious and very peaceful.  and i loved all the beautiful new lights they added this year. very fun. we met josh's dad and stepmom there and i even managed to make everyone take some pictures. maybe i should add that to my list of new years resolutions since i royally suck at picture taking and i always regret it later.  please enjoy! one of my fav's is the one of dad holding the wise men in his palm. oh i love the goofy peeps in my life :)

 here are the rents, not paying a single bit of attention to me trying to take their picture...

 ah yes, much better and much parental cuteness

 i just really loved these trees so you get a pictures of them

 hahah oh dad you crack me up



here is mom trying to walk a camel, our perception was a little off since we couldn't get any closer to the lawn!

here is my love-his dad literally got like 17 inches from our face for this picture with my camera....

here is josh with the parents....love it

okay short story, there was this couple making kissy faces under an identical arch, but the arch was half lit and they were, um not cute? so josh leans over and says to me, "we are so awesome" and i hear dad at the same time saying something to the affect of, "oh a little wedding arch" so we decided a picture was necessary, mostly because of the fact that we needed some cuteness, it was less about a spur of the moment wedding under a lighted plastic pvc pipe....

and here is the last one of the evening by my cool trees. i think we are rather cute and i rather much love it.

goodnight!

hello 2011, what do you bring?

well that time has come again to begin a new year. i'm excited, but a little apprehensive to be completely honest. there is always so much uncertainty....even though i trust that everything will all work and out and be great, there is always that fear in the back of your mind.  though i am usually a lover of change, lately i have been a little shy, though i have no real reason to be. i think maybe it is largely due to overwhelming amounts of stress.....

tonight i shall spend the evening with my man, doing nothing but enjoying each other, i am rather excited since this is a new opportunity for us. and we are loving it.  i am sure that this new year will bring us many of these great opportunities since he is now a resident of the desert once again.  last night we went on a rare date night. it was glorious, even in all of its goofy simplicity.  he is a very sweet and thoughtful guy. i am very lucky that is for sure.

though i am very unsure about what 2011 will bring us, i do know that we will make it through it and enjoy most of every minute of it. i have not hated 2010, though there was much unpleasantness in parts of it, there were also so many wonderful things about it.  but 2011 is looking much better and brighter....so far anyway lol.

i am excited about the potential for great things in 2011, there will be much opportunity to grow in business and hopefully better our futures.  it will not be an easy road that is for sure, since there will be much financial burden due to our current situation, but i think it will prove to be a great learning opportunity and many life lessons will be shared and hopefully overcome.

i'm not one for new years resolutions usually, i feel that you don't need a calender change over to a new year to have change for the better, but i do have a few things that i would like to improve on, and the first of the year seems like a great place to start those things.  some of these things include, better blogging, a positive attitude (which is proving to be a difficult one amongst the stress and annoyances of late, esp. the upcoming wedding situations which i don't want to deal with cause i'm feeling like its all very much unfair at the moment even though i shouldn't), more work, better saving, more learning, going to school and completing classes, finding new ways to love, spending lots of time with my man,  keeping things very clean and organized, being better about trusting in the Lord and finding new ways to let things go.  i'm sure there will be many more things i find to work on, but those are standing out most in my mind at the moment.  i would say i should also work on building better relationships with others, but right now that is a issue that has left me rather burned or scarred and i'm not particularly interested in that right at this moment, maybe with a little bit of time i will feel like that is doable again. 

i hope everyone has a safe and happy new year, i hope new opportunities will come, dreams will come true, much love will find you, and that there will be more happiness than tears.  i love the people in my life and cannot wait to share the new adventures of a new year with all of those who are sharing this crazy journey that is life.

Happy New Year everyone! 2011 here we come!