just when I thought.......

im so exhausted right now that I can't sleep... Weird yes, but I think that you probably understand. Today was less than stellar, way more stress than I cared to have on a Monday, or any day for that matter. Its made me grouchy, I have wanted to cry the last 6 or more hours but have refrained since it doesn't fix anything. I'm beyond frustrated and angry, I am irritated to a point that words do not describe. I know it will get me no where, it solves nothing, it only increases my blood pressure and makes me exhausted, and yet, a large part of me just doesn't give a damn. Wrong? Yes. Ask me if I care right now. I'm sure I'll regret it shortly, but then again maybe not. Cause just when I think that maybe for once I could get my hopes up for a change and move on and move up, it all gets beaten back down again and crushed by forces beyond my control. And I'm not talking about the big guy upstairs-if it was all him I wouldn't be nearly as ticked off and I would understand. But this I can't and probably will never understand, but apparently I'm just supposed to accept it. Right now though, that just isn't going to happen. So much for a great start to the week. I don't even have the energy or positivity at this point to say at least it can only get better, cause last time I said that it got me to here.

champagne at 730 in the am

so this morning i attended this crazy affair in scottsdale at the intercontinental montelucia-i was helping jared and the arthritis foundation with one of their events again-very cool!  it was a red carpet fashion show deal and we were selling raffle tickets-and let me tell you, no one there even hesitates to spend the 50 bucks-i want to be like that one day, minus the botox. the funniest thing about the morning was all of these fancy people who were drinking glasses of champagne at 730 in the am....no lie, and they had many! it was rather comical to see all the ladies in their high heels trying to balance their purses, champagne glasses and food from the buffet....very entertaining. the fashions were from some guy here locally who purchases hollywood clothes used in movies-not gonna lie, most of them were incredibly ugly, but the models were very beautiful! it was freezing but we all had lots of fun! i'm glad i got to go! My boyfriend is the most amazingest bestest person in the whole wide world!  thank you joshua for that last sentence!
now we are off to another million hours of work....hopefully we'll be home before 2!

i don't have a title today

random title i know...but i don't have one, my thoughts are just kinda randomly everywhere!  i think i'm probably just exhausted cause it's been a crazy day! but that's okay! i had a fun time working with my man again and he helped me clear up such a giant pile of filing today! he is so good to me!  he always knows just how to make me laugh too!  we had fun playing at walmart too, but he wouldn't let me play in the valentine's section-big meany!  we spent lots of time talking about cars today too, lots and lots of ideas, just not enough money to execute them...YETTTT-hopefully soon though! i happily bought some cookie dough to eat-not all at once of course, i rarely treat myself to it, but i did today-it is the little things ya know....ha. i am currently watching tlc's my strange addiction-it is VERY strange, but it doesn't freak me out nearly as their hoarders show does..that one freaks me out more than i can even explain to you. every episode i see i have to go clean something and throw it out. no joke. it is not funny.  kills me.  let's not talk about it anymore please.

anyways.....i hope everyone had a good day! i'll be back.....

manic monday

HOLY COW! the last few days have been CRAZY!  we worked our buns off this weekend....in fact my feet and shoulder are still hurting, but that could just be from today's work! but i did get to work with my man so that was coolio!  saturday i got to go to miss lindsay's baby shower! she is pretty much the cutest pregnant lady on the planet ever in the history of ever-it is kinda largely ridiculous, but i love that lady!  miss emma got SO many cute cute things!  i can't wait to see them all on her!  sunday we got to sleep in, then the man and i went to his house to hang out and we watched a movie, did laundry, cleaned and played a game-very fun and quiet-well mostly quiet except for mad gab which turned into a whole lot of loud laughter, but that was okay.  we also went to the toyota dealership in the afternoon so josh could look at the fj cruiser that he hopes to have-we'll see if we can get there! i hope we can get us both a new car fairly soon- but first we must focus on disneyland!  it will be here in just a little over 6 weeks so we must save save save!  i can't wait!  there isn't much else exciting to report, and i'm rather tired from the urine, vomit, fire/water damage, and other glorious things i did today, including a mountain of paperwork (thank you man of mine for helping with all of these things, you are awesomely awesome.).  so for now i am outta here and i will check back soon!

little victories

have you ever watched people bowling? like reeeally watched them?  it's incredible. and i don't mean that in a really mean way actually-though some things you see are actually very funny-like the guy in the lane next to us who made a face, did this jump thing and a leap each and EVERY time he did ANYTHING. no matter how good or bad he did. he was loving his goofiness and having the time of his life with his girlfriend. and NO this was not joshua this time, though this might come as a shock to some of you that know him. he was rather calm today-i think from being exhausted from our ridiculous work day!  anyway, so i enjoyed our date cause i always enjoy our dates, but also because i was loving all the people around us.  there was a little family with a 3 or 4 year old and a 10 year old, i don't know if you have ever watched a tiny child bowl, but it was probably one of the most adorable things i have ever seen. she was precious. and then there was the chinese family next to us with a mom, dad, new baby and grandma, a young grandma, not like 80 lol. i loved watching them because they each had their own unique way to bowl, but after each frame they had this giant look of triumph on their face.  it was a common theme among everyone at the bowling alley actually.  it's incredible really.  EVERONE, has the same look after completeing all or most of a frame.  it is their own victory in this tiny world.  and unlike the real world where no one celebrates even the tiniest victories, not in the adult world anyway, big or small, EVERYONE celebrates a tiny victory, even when they only knock over 3 pins.  i think it's awesome. and i think that we should all celebrate more little victories everyday, our own, and those surrounding us.  the world would be a better place.
on another note, the zahn family pictures are in now, i'm waiting on my disc, but i do have the two pictures of the man and i :) they are great. and so is my awesomely huge print of us.  it's 10x13 and awesome, though i will need to go to get a frame since the one i have only fits 4x6......oh darn, hobby lobby it is :)

we are good looking. and i love these.

have a lovely friday everyone. i will be working from 8:30am to 3:30pm and taking a short break to visit the homeshow, and then working once again from 7pm to 1am.......SO you probably aren't getting any posts tomorrow. and saturday is looking about the same so i'll be back when i can!

sickies, sickies and more sickies

okay so EVERYONE and their dog has had the stomach flu since joshua and dad had it last week......even i got sick, though i narrowly avoided the puking nastiness-thank goodness. i'm still fearful that it will attack me at any moment.....and i really can't afford that this week cause there is TOO much to do! hopefully everyone will be healthy by the weekend again and we can all be free of flu fear! hooray!  oh and if anyone has a couple thousand dollars that they would like to donate, feel free to contact me at anytime......my bank account could use a little help after this last month or so. hopefully i can get it all under control soon!

football championship

well the BCS was definitely interesting this evening.....not as exciting as i would have like it to be. i was rather disappointed to be honest-normally college football is a-mazing but it was a rather weak game tonight. oh well, whatever.  joshua was feeling much better today, not sick at all so we decided to take kyle up on the invite to steph's place for a get together to watch the game.  it was fun, glad we got to see them since we haven't in forever.  i made some dessert for the dealio.  rasberry sherbet dessert and the ooey gooey bars that josh loves so much!  they were okay, didn't come out as nice as i would like for taking dessert to someone else's house.  but it's okay, no one really cared anyway, they just ate them.
my love got a cute hair cut today, he is so very handsome.  and he may have convinced me that the facial hair would be okay for a wedding even though i'm not at all a fan cause he trimmed it so nice today, so i'll possibly consider it...maybe :)
well we'll see what tomorrow brings, it will be a busy day i'm sure cause there will be so much work to do!  hopefully in the evening there will be time to just relax and snuggle with my man!