this is the phrase i have been using all morning-i am less than my usual bubbly self, especially the last 3 days. in fact today, i am a super grouch. i had a headache all day yesterday and it didn't help that i felt achy and sick on top of it, i slept good last night for the first time in a while, so you'd think that would help. but no. i am having super feelings of jealousy today. and none of the things i normally do are shaking it, so i'm kinda at a loss at this point. it sounds really terrible, but i am totally jealous of the fact that josh's family has been to all but 2 games on the season, which means that each weekend they get 2-4 days with him, ALL to themselves, unlike me who only ever gets to go when someone else is going and i always have to share, and then he'll come home in december and i'll do the same damn thing cause we'll spend every waking moment together with someone else cause its the holidays. and everytime they are in town, he is super busy hanging out with them so i don't talk to him at all for 4 days. you'd think by now i'd be used to it, but i still hate it. and i'm trying to remember that it is great that they can be there to support him, but lately i feel less and less like its a WONDERFUL thing. that's rude, but it's how i feel right now. i don't hate them for it, i hate that i can't be there though, and i hate even more that there's nothing i can do about it.
we went to lunch with Lisa today-she is pretty much the sweetest lady on the planet. she always has great crafty ideas and funny stories. she was super bummed to find out that we pushed the wedding date back, kinda funny cause i really didn't think that it would be upsetting to anyone but me, but she was genuinely bummed. which i think is nice-at least i know i'll have good help when the time finally comes! talking about all of the ideas we have made me kinda depressed, i mean i love to think about it, but i packed up all of my ideas and shoved them in a box so that i wouldn't have to look at them after the huge disappointment of learning it all couldn't happen. so i haven't really thought about it much since i threw everything in the box in september. hopefully next time i have to really think about it, i can be excited about it again cause there will actually really be something happening. i'm trying to leave that alone for a while cause it isn't time, and i don't need anything else with false hope this week!
i guess i should really get back to work-it sounds less than appealing at the moment, but it is what makes everything happen so gotta keep on keepin on i guess. i'm hoping tomorrow i can have an exciting post for a change and maybe UAB will win their homecoming game-it would at least brighten the next week!
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