so i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, which may or may not benefit me, i'm never entirely sure about that, but this weeks thoughts have been about the "wonderful" years that everyone says happen between the ages of 18 and 22 or whatever the window is.........uh yeah. how about whoever said that should reevaluate their thinking. while i will agree, that there are some exciting things that seem to happen in this window, i would not say that these are the "BEST" years of life by any stretch of the imagination. i guess if you were going off to college on mommy and daddy's paycheck and partying it up with your friends and roommates every weekend, this WOULD be the ideal time of your life since you have ZERO responsibility AND the convenience of always hanging out with your friends. other than that right there i see little in the way of "wonderful". a large majority of the time i feel the exact opposite. maybe its because i royally suck at finding the positives right now-but i feel like you turn 18 and the world says, "hello, you are an adult now, this is the real world" and at the same time you can do absolutely nothing completely on your own. yes, you can take care of yourself, move out, have a job, go to school, pay your bills.....whatever. but there's still a lot that you can't do because portions of the "real world" say you are not allowed to yet. so which is it? are we really full fledged and responsible adults at 18? or do they just want us to start to feel that way, then mature another 3 years, THEN dub us full fledged responsible members of society? it's a question i have yet to answer. there's a lot in this "age" of life that i feel i am held back on, most of it is out of my control, and while i should probably just go with the flow and leave it alone, i don't feel that i should have to if i'm legally considered an adult..but there's not much i can do about it but sit back and let it pass. maybe in a few years or ten or fifteen years down the road, i can look back and say "wow, to be 19 again." but i highly doubt it. to be completely honest it feels like high school all over again. i'm still "allowed" to make my own decisions, but essentially someone else is still controlling them. it is less than appreciated. while i know some of that control is done for my own good, i'm pretty sure about 88% of it is NOT necessary and is done sheerly because it can be. i'm fairly tired of it, but exactly how far do you go to push that envelope before you're in hot water and in trouble with those "watching out" for you? so far, i have yet to find a nice way to do that, right now the option is piss everyone off, or go along with what makes them happy til there's a better way to get out. so unfortunately i'm stuck with the latter, which less than pleases me. hopefully someone will take the "i'm a legally responsible adult" thing to heart one of these and ACTUALLY let me be one. or maybe never, considering our generation and the terrible reputation that they have given those of us in this age bracket.....
at least it is friday.
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